Has Vic's trip to Florida made Bryan Cranky?

There comes a time in every online journal when the creator “loses it” and turns on his readers. This isn't one of those moments, though it might seem like it.

I have watched it happen on many a journal site. The cam-op or journalist finally snaps or gets fed up with the constant criticism. Rage left the cam-op world a tad burned out, and I have seen Justin at Justin's Life go ever so slightly postal from the constant barrage of “critiques.” His journal entries have come and gone in fits of anger- but thankfully he has always come back to chronicling his life.

I guess what happens is that the journalists wakes up one morning, checks his email, reads one disheartening letter too many, and then ask himself “Why am I subjecting myself to this?” I rarely get letters of the hateful kind, and most are quite pleasant about their critiques or job performance reviews, but it does tend to eat at you.

Usually, the journalist usually has what appears to be a psychic snap and will “go off” in one of their journal entries about the content of their not-so-joyous emails.

I imagine readers around the world cringing in harmony as they read these flame outs, as I myself have often done. Even I can't avert my gaze and skip over the rant as the poor boy finally lets it all hang out. It's like watching a car crash or the woman with the bee-hive hair-do at Luby's Cafeteria.

I feel like I am about to have one of those tantrums. I tell ya, I am bone tired and I really think I should step away from the ammo bins.

This week has been fraught with these kinds of letters, not just criticism, but just basic implorations for help and work, and subtle and not-so-subtle 'hints' as to how I can better myself or the site. I guess everyone's got needs that have to be met. This all combined with the loads of work I have set for myself, I can feel myself about ready to implode.

I had planned on sitting down and writing another tawdry little sex incident ala “Snake Bites” But somehow, I just couldn't get in the mood. My friends and family are surely relieved!

So here it is in a nutshell so I can just get it out of my system. Avert your gaze if you find my constant bitching and bemoaning of my fab life more than you can handle (and it IS pretty fantastic so don't write me telling me to wake-up and see that..I know babies!)

If you wrote me these last couple weeks about any of the content below, PLEASE don't take this personally. It's not so much that your letters offended me. How could you know I was getting loads of others? Also, for the sake of brevity, I am paraphrasing. Everyone was quite nice about their requests.

Lets see: Um..No..I am not going to stop putting “gym bunnies” in the bio4ms, XXL models are a tough sale, and besides, I think they have their own sites. The models reflect my sexual tastes, it's my site after all. I am sorry! As for offering XXL shirts, I can barely manage the stock items I have..Walmart I ain't.. I can barely afford to order the three sizes I do have, and if you noticed on the order forms, I have bunches of Larges left. I need to go to inventory management school.

Yes, I am sorry there were not more butt shots of Brian. Yes, I realize some people like da'bootie. A complete and total oversite, especially since Brian has such a fine toockus! As a 'piece' offering, look for David D. in September as an exclusive Galleries Member area only. Lots-o-bootie there! In the futrure, I will be more butt conscious! ~eg~

Feet..ok..more feet. Duly noted. Body hair. Ok..I will try and get more body hair, though I don't like the way it photographs.

Journal entry content: Yes I am sorry. I talk about buying things all the time. No I am not hinting. These are things I am obsessed with right now. I WANT a lot of things for my new place. Does this mean I want you to buy me it. NO! But I have plans, and this is where I will talk about them.

I just bought this house, I have lots of work to do. One week before Christmas I discovered I had only $200.00 to my name. I think I have bounced back nicely. I worked hard to get this house. It's not a mansion, but it's a step. So yes, I am gonna talk about all the things I want for it. It's not greed.

Hmm..who else can I piss off?

Chat room visitors. Yes, I admit it. I have had zero time to go chat. I have managed only one or two hours a week. I got several letters hinting that I don't chat enough anymore- too big for my britches, and is “this how I treat my fans” Oi! I am sorry boys. I have been neglecting you all! I will put more time into the chats. I promise! I LOVE chatting and I LOVE you guys. . It's my main thing really, the one true love of the site. I love to chat! I just have sooo much to do it seems

Just so you all know, here is what a week is currently like for me:

I get up most days at 5:30am, answer the most pressing emails (I have given up on answering mail in general), input new members, process new t-shirt sales including mailing labels, data entry, shipping etc…uh oh, this guy forgot to mention his size, better write him back. A shower and shave is always appreciated by my co-workers. Fly out the door only to sit in a traffic snarl a block away from my house. Mmmm....Pop Tarts! Remember to take snaps all week for the fotojournal. Write the topics out on the board so I don't forget anything. Summarize Summarize Summarize! Tweak images when I can. Workout two hours every day (hopefully I can read 30 pages of a book for book reviews while staving off the pooch).

I try and do some design work for other sites at lunch time..god, there is so much to do! I have bio4ms models to organize, convince and shoot, then the hundreds of photos to tweak. Eskoops, Choons, and Asklips have to be managed, but THANKFULLY all pretty much come to my doorstep ready to go (bless you boys!! Look for an Amazon.com gift certificate soon!) Oh yeah, order certificates for the columnists on the site. ~yeeks~

I have to contend with credit card frauds, people who join or buy something without a valid email address, (how in the heck do I send them their member info?) the banking and credit cards all need to balance. Pay my taxes. When's lunch?

I gotta get the new house setup- stuff is still in boxes hidden everywhere. Clean it? Yeah right. A complete yard overhaul is also in order. Watering! Gotta haul my hose around. Oops, forgot to run by the Post Office Box today. Four paying design jobs that look like bigtime work, and one that is desperate for me to come back and help him that I feel guilty everytime I see his emails pop in. (I am trying Irish!!! Love you!) . What? My tires are being recalled? They might end up killing me?!? Did I feed the dogs and smooch on 'em today? The damn door on my truck STILL won't open, when are they gonna get that damn part in!?

My parents will be arriving for 6 whole days. Where am I gonna get the money to do all the work that needs to be done while they are here to help? The fence needs to be replaced. The deck is trashed. The yard is burned out and needs to be re-sod. The plumber wanted 275 bucks to run an ice maker water line a few feet for a refrigerator I don't even own. Gonna have to research that and do it myself…time to hit Homo Depot's Self-Help book aisle.

As much fun as they are, sometimes the social commitments seem like work. Aly Nights, Skating Events, Friday Night Diners with the Boys.Wow! I have FRIENDS now! I wanna keep em! DON"T HIDE IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER ANYMORE!

Vic…oh yeah Vic. I have a boyfriend too. I like to snuggle with him for 5 minutes a day. Damn he smells so good!

Yikes. Did I pay bills? Someone needs help buying a monitor? Which is best? I dunno! Advice on which HTML program to use? You want me to train you in graphic design? How do you create mp3 links on a page? I took pictures of you and you want 4 copies and can I FedEx them to you? Who are you? Food, I need FOOD…and a Ripped Fuel! Your shirt didn't arrive? Let me look it up. Dang, I chipped my tooth off on the garage door openner..don't ask. Make Dentist appointment.

The cam image isn't uploading or it is blurry, what's wrong with it now? Dammit, my computer just crashed! I really want to meet with Fletch and see about upping the site into a full blown Gay Austin Portal site…when am I gonna have time for that!? Screw the food..I need STAFF!

Time to make a list of lists!

Phew! I feel sooo much better. Well, not really. I created all this stuff in front of me, and I LOVE doing it all. Wouldn't trade places with anyone and I want to do it ALL! Who can I talk to abour getting more hours in day!?

What I DO want to make clear is….

Details are slipping, emails are being missed, phone calls are not being returned. Please be patient. The next 6 weeks are gonna be just nutty. I may not be there for you while I get my house situated.

You guys, I WANT to do all this! But I need a little support, and frankly I feel like I haven't gotten much (smallest violin in the world). I KNOW some of the changes to the site are not gonna please everyone, but I try to encompass as many people as possible.

So bear with me. I love this site and doing all the work on it. And I want you to love it too!

So have fun, and enjoy it while it's on autopilot.

Bryan

Vic Flees from Bryan

My little Vicster had just about enough of me. Vic, Kevin, and Royce left on Thursday for sunny Florida to go oggle the fine specimans found only in Ft. Lauderdale and South Beach. Totally missing him. ~sigh~ He comes back next Wednesday, and on Thursday my parents arrive. Gonna be a cwazy week next week.

Here he is as I drop him off at Kevin's house. Hmmm...Kevin's Crape Myrtles are looking nice this Summer. Gonna have to get me some them!

A Work in Progress

Gonna start some "Before and After" pics. Well, "Before and Partway" pics anyway. Here is the yard at the beginning of the week. As you can see, it needs a bit of work, so I need to get busy on it.

Wa la! Ok..not much action huh? Hey..I dont have much of a budget! I had to buy a lot of tools even to get this far. Wheelbarrow, hedger, and yikes! And those 10 foot metal dividers I love so much are 8 bucks a piece. I bought ten! OUCH! It was a joy bringing them home in my 5 foot long bed. I miss my F150!

I trimmed up the trees so you could actually see some the house..which is mostly garage anyway. I took up the sod on the right hand side and mulch is next on the agenda, but that was gonna have to wait till the weekend. I did all this after work one day.

On Saturday, I went to my Mulch supplier only to find they aren't in business anymore. So, I had to drive around to find a new landscaping materials place. 14 dollars a yard! Cheap! One yard is equals about one truckload, so I bought three yards. I spent most of Saturday in the searing heat hauling mulch around. No pics of the mulch in place yet. I want to surprise you all with some shruberries (you must say that like Monty Python)..and that will have to wait a couple pay periods. But for now, its less grass to water.

Late on Saturday, after five hours in the 100+ heat, I started to take the sod up on the other side of the driveway, when I realized...DANG..I am hot and tired. I had no idea it was so hot out! I never seem to realize it. Someone informed me that Texas had some pretty high heat this weekend. I of course spent all day in it hauling crap around. What a maroon.

Eventually, I gave up on the yard mid-de-sodding, took a shower, and just crawled into bed Saturday night to read some Harry Potter. Sweet achy bliss.

Shower Anyone?

Shower parts arrived on Wednesday! I could finally finish the shower! Here it is all ready for its morning cam close up. Hating this new Nikon camera. This shower is silver, but I will be danged if it didn't transmute the metal to brass! Don't even get me started about the red-eye problem.

Anyway, the shower is all finished, complete with a better cam angle. Come take a shower with me in the morning some time. Snore!

Josh and Bry Get Saddle Sore!

Josh and I finally got to go for another ride. We have both been so busy! I worked on the house and design projects the entire weekend, but I did have one bright play moment. Josh and I met with two of his friends and hit the Barton Creek Greenbelt. Josh is a kick ass mountain biker and his friends kept up nicely. We couldn't ride too hard though, that dork Josh couldn't find his brainbucket.

But that didn't stop him from powering up them hills. Go boy Go!

Ya know, I don't think I have ever shown you all a picture of Austin famous Barton Springs Pool, which is located at the base of the greenbelt mountain biking trails.

Ok, here's the deal. I secretly can't stand the place- but don't tell anyone! TRUE Austinites are RABIDLY avid about this place and would likely stone me. I guess I can see the appeal of water that is a constant 72 degrees on hot Summer days. It is spring fed and the pool around it is quite pretty.

But I got in that water once, and my nuts jumped up to my stomach hoping to find a safe warm haven. I prefer my water just below body temperature thank you very much.

Josh and his friends went off about how fab and unique and what an Austin tradition it is, but I kept quiet. I know better then arguing with this cult. If you ever meet someone who loudly declares they swim every morning in Barton Springs, beware! They've smoked too much of something or the freezing water has chilled their senses. They may actually try to convince you that freezing ur nuts off is-FUN! No, I will stick to Hippy Hollow, where the water is like warm soup, and the boys are scantily clad.

~hehe~

Rainbow Skating

The AIDS Serices of Austin Rainbow Skating occured again this week. It takes place the second Wednesday of every month, and I swear we JUST did this a couple days ago! Good turnout this time, and they raised some moola for a good cause.

In my effort to bring you the "less than perfect Chaos", here's one of me either sneezing or gettin them undies out of my cheeks. Wait. Not wearing undies.

As usual, a crowd of boys hung out at the Green Wall, not to be confused with the Green Room, as some Dramatic Divas are used to spending time in. Look at little John A. on the left! What a cutie giving me some attitude!

We didn't play Drag Tag this time. Believe it or not...Wigs are 'seasonal" items at Goodwill. The nice lady at the counter informed me as if I should KNOW this. Geez! Fortunately, Don Baker, who organizes the event, decided on a Hawaiin theme for the night.

We tried playing tag, but after I got tagged by three seperate people all in a row, I realized no one really knew WHO was IT. So we got everyone together in the center to organize the chaos. The person who was IT was designated to wear a bright pink Lai (spelling?) This worked out pretty well! But I still want to do the Wig thing.

We had a few injuries, and someone even broke a wrist (though not Tag related...he blamed "boy watching")

Here Joel aka "Sex on Skates" shows us his fancy footwork.

I apparently have to make a correction. Kim (on the right) is NOT the ringleader of the other gay boy group at the Adult Night. It really is James. Now..bwwahahaha....lets get James to take his clothes off!

David and Tim have been spending a lot ot time together. Hmmm...

Joel and Lil' John couple skate.

Don Baker (r), our illustrias organizer of this affair, gets some one-on-one couple skate time with his boyfriend. They were both appropriately garbed in Hawaiin gear.

Alan and friend (who I think may have a wig for next time) Great skater that Alan is. But he needs his own skates..and to start coming to Adult Night on Tuesdays with us!

More Tim and David pics. Hmmmm. That's ONE way to couple skate. Wonder if they're stuck that way?

Brian from San Diego came up and said he joined in from seeing the website. I of course, ate that little tidbit up. Nice guy, hope he keeps coming to the skate thang. Thanks for the nice email too!

And our roving camera also spotted the elusive Bio4ms model, Damon. Hard to catch this boy..he goes FAASSST!

That's it boys and girls. See ya next week. Ma and Pa will be here (and maybe a pregnant Janet will make an appearance!) Laterz!

Brian- August Bio4ms!

Now Online! Check out Brian "with an I" in August's Bio4ms! Don't forget to see more in the Gallery Member's Area!

---

And looky here! New Chaos Muscle T's just in time for the HOT days of Summer! Humpy August Bio4ms model Brian sports this one. Check it out in the Gears section!

Chaos and Helvetica Ts ON SALE ALSO!

---

Previous Entry

Next Entry